


Answers Without Questions

by SecretMaker



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 04:57:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6597646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretMaker/pseuds/SecretMaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Koushi had learned a long time ago to stop wanting things. He learned to stop wishing, letting his eyes linger too long, wondering what it would be like if only.</p><p>There were no if onlys in Koushi’s life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Answers Without Questions

Koushi had learned a long time ago to stop wanting things. He learned to stop wishing, letting his eyes linger too long, wondering what it would be like _if only._   
  
There were no if onlys in Koushi’s life.  
  
Here and now, there was only Daichi, curled up and sobbing in Koushi’s lap because some girl had thought it was okay to out him to his entire workplace, and his manager had fired him for ‘causing a scene’. Koushi threaded his fingers through Daichi’s hair and rocked them both back and forth.  
  
“I d-don’t understand, S-suga,” Daichi sobbed, clutching the fabric of Koushi’s shirt a little tighter. Koushi made a soft noise in the back of his throat and thumbed away the latest tear.  
  
“I know,” he murmured. “I know. It isn’t fair. You didn’t do anything wrong.”  
  
“I loved that job,” Daichi whispered and Koushi’s heart broke a little more.  
  
“I know you did,” he said. He wanted to say more. He wanted to _do_ more, to storm that ridiculous department store and give everyone there a piece of his mind. He wanted to change the whole world, if only so that Daichi would never feel like this again.  
  
He wanted to hold him like this under better circumstances, when Daichi was happy and knew that every brush of Koushi’s fingers was a declaration of adoration.  
  
He thought of bright eyes and a sweet smile and reminded himself not to want things.  
  
After a long, long while, the sobs died down, and then the shaking. Koushi held Daichi close, not saying much more than gentle murmurs and shushing noises, until Daichi pulled away and sat up beside him.  
  
“You hungry?” Koushi asked. Daichi nodded silently. “Do you want me to make you some gyudon?” Daichi nodded again, sniffing wetly. Koushi squeezed his shoulder, then stood and moved to the kitchen, closing the door most of the way behind him to grant him some privacy. He took a moment to collect himself before crossing to the fridge to dig out the ingredients.  
  
There was something therapeutic about cooking. The easy rhythm of the knife as it chopped through onions and beef, the sizzling of the skillet, the sweet and savory smells that filled the air. He was just piling rice into two bowls when the door opened and Daichi came to lean his head on Koushi’s shoulder. Koushi hummed and let his cheek rest on the crown of Daichi’s head a moment before he pulled away to scoop the meet and onions onto the rice.  
  
“Will you grab some drinks?” he asked as he scooped up the bowls. Daichi nodded and stepped aside to let Koushi pass.  
  
They ate in silence sitting adjacent to each other with their knees pressed together, and Koushi reminded himself that that was all the contact he needed. That he didn’t want more.  
  
-  
  
The next morning, Koushi woke to Daichi’s hand on his face and Daichi’s foot pressed against his bladder and the scent of Daichi’s shampoo coating his pillow. He allowed himself a single pained groan, one he could pass off as the ever-mounting disgust at being awake, and rolled out of bed.  
  
A trip to the bathroom and half a pot of coffee later, Koushi found himself starting to function like a normal human being. He sat at the table, staring into his mug and trying to process why the hell Daichi had slept in his bed last night.  
  
The memory of tears and comfort food shared in silence came flooding back, and suddenly Koushi wished he didn’t know. He tightened his hold on the mug and tried not to think.  
  
The sound of Daichi shuffling out into the living room was not the welcome distraction it usually was.  
  
“Morning,” Daichi rasped, his voice thick with sleep. Koushi didn’t have to look up to now he was wearing nothing but a pair of soft sweatpants that hung too low on his hips. He looked anyway.  
  
“Morning,” he greeted in a desperate bid to keep things from being awkward. “How’d you sleep.”  
  
“Pretty great,” Daichi replied. He sat down next to Koushi, sliding the mug waiting there toward himself. “For some reason I always sleep better in your room.” Koushi bit his lip at the soft tone of Daichi’s voice and willed himself to be cool.  
  
“It’s probably my mattress,” he said. “Yours sucks.” Daichi chuckled, the sound harsh in the morning air.  
  
“Yeah…” he muttered. “That must be it.” They sat in stagnant silence for a moment before Koushi cleared his throat.  
  
“So I figured, if you’re up for it, and if you want to, I could talk to the owner about an interview at work today,” he said. “We’re a little short on waiters right now, and we could schedule your shifts around your classes. It’s not the best pay, but I figured, just until you can get something better…” He trailed off, absolutely loathing himself.  
  
“Really?” Koushi’s head snapped up at the timid tone of Daichi’s voice. “You’d- you’d do that for me?” Koushi’s brow furrowed in confusion.  
  
“Of course I would,” he replied. “You’re my best friend, Dai.”  
  
“Well, yeah, but,” Daichi looked down to where he was twisting his hands in his lap, a nervous habit that Koushi had thought died when he became captain. “I just, that restaurant is your thing? It’s kind of your domain, so I didn’t want to intrude?”  
  
“Daichi.” Koushi reached over and settled his hand on top of both of Daichi’s, stilling them. “Your presence is never an intrusion, you understand me? If I didn’t want you there, I wouldn’t have offered.” Daichi smiled at him then, the same wide, heart-stopping smile that had first opened the gaping hole in Koushi’s chest.   
  
“Thank you, Suga,” he said. “You have no idea how much this means to me.” Koushi simply smiled and squeezed his hand.  
  
“Oh, I’m sure I’ll find a way for you to make it up to me,” he said as he pushed himself to his feet. Daichi chuckled.  
  
“I’m sure you will.”   
  
-  
  
Daichi went back to Miyagi the next weekend, to visit his parents and Asahi. It was not quite a tradition, but these trips happened frequently enough that Koushi could plan his life around them almost like clockwork. The door had barely even closed behind Daichi when Oikawa swept into the apartment in a cloud of glitter and dried paint flakes.  
  
“No.” Koushi pointed down the hall to the bathroom. “You are not setting foot in my living room until you wash all that off.”  
  
“Good to see you too, Kou-chan,” Oikawa hummed even as he turned down the hall, careful to keep as much of the mess on his own body as possible.  
  
Akaashi was the next to arrive. He let himself in with the spare key Koushi had given him, making a face at the glitter trail as he toed off his shoes.  
  
“I see Oikawa-san is here,” he commented.  
  
“It must be nice, leaving a trail of chaos and sparkles behind him,” agreed Kuroo as he pushed in behind Akaashi. “I bet no one questions their gaydar around him.”  
  
“Hey,” cried Oikawa, coming out of the bathroom freshly glitter-free and dressed in his most obnoxious space pajamas. “I thought we agreed no boyfriends!”  
  
Koushi frowned in confusion, then turned to glare at Akaashi, who was already holding up his hands in defense.  
  
“That’s just a rumor that Bokuto-san heard and promptly spread around,” he said. “Kuroo-san and I are not dating.” Koushi caught sight of the sour look on Kuroo’s face and nodded.  
  
“Speaking of, I thought Tetsu-chan was supposed to talk to him this week,” Oikawa said. He flopped across the couch, long limbs sprawling everywhere. Koushi curled up in his corner, kicking Oikawa’s leg out of his way. Kuroo groaned and fell onto his stomach on the floor.  
  
“He tried,” Akaashi said as he came to sit in the armchair. “Apparently it did not go over well.”  
  
“He thought I was encouraging him to ask Akaashi out,” Kuroo grumbled into the carpet. “And then when I said that wasn’t what I wanted, he thought I meant that _I_ should ask Akaashi out. Spent two hours talking me up about it, too.” Oikawa made a sympathetic noise in the back of his throat.  
  
“That’s sad, Tetsu-chan,” he said. “Not good enough to be Pathetic Soul of the Week, but sad.”  
  
“Alright, then, what do _you_ have this week?” Kuroo demanded. Oikawa’s face twisted.   
  
“I helped my crush pick out his clothes for the date he’s on right now,” he said. “And damn, did he look good. All shoulders and biceps and thighs filling things out in just the right way.” He let his head fall back against the arm of the couch. “He looks really good in burgundy, apparently.”  
  
“Akaashi?”  
  
“No, I still haven’t spoken to him, yes I am utterly pathetic, no I do not intend to do anything about it,” Akaashi said. “Suga.”  
  
“Daichi’s visiting Asahi this weekend,” Koushi offered. “Two days ago he was sobbing in my arms because he was fired for being gay, and I’m always his go-to for comfort. But now he’s in Miyagi, so he has free access to his actual boyfriend.”  
  
“I don’t think Kou-chan should get to compete,” Oikawa hummed, “since his supposed unrequited crush isn’t actually unrequited.”  
  
“Daichi doesn’t see me that way,” Koushi said. “I should get to compete for the sheer fact that I live with him. But you’re right, Kuroo wins this week.”  
  
“You live with him because you two are dating,” Oikawa protested. “And who says Tetsu-chan wins?”  
  
“Kuroo-san wins,” Akaashi agreed. “Bokuto-san spent all of Thursday trying to get me to ask him out.” Kuroo was already picking a movie from the stack on Koushi’s coffee table.  
  
“Okay, yeah,” Oikawa agreed. He swung himself to his feet and padded to the kitchen. “Kou-chan, where’d you hide the wine?” he called.  
  
“On top of the fridge, near the back” Koushi answered. Kuroo glanced at him and he shrugged. “I used a chair and a stack of textbooks. I’m not _that_ much shorter than Daichi.” Kuroo shrugged and started setting up the movie.  
  
These were some of Koushi’s favorite nights, the ones he spent tangled up with Oikawa, Akaashi, and Kuroo. Sometimes they had others here, usually Noya and Tanaka or Kuroo’s friend Kenma, but this week was small. They all piled onto Koushi’s too-small couch in a heap of limbs and watched one of Daichi’s many, many teary romantic comedies. They bitched at the movie, throwing popcorn at the screen when the hero did something extraordinarily stupid, bemoaned their own pathetic love lives, all in the comfort of too many bodies a too much wine. Koushi fell asleep sometime during the third film, lulled by alcohol and the steady rise and fall of Kuroo’s chest.  
  
  
  
“They’re cuddling. Actually cuddling, all four of them, on the floor of the living room. Yeah. Yeah. No, I’ll send you a picture. Yeah.”  
  
Koushi groaned at the voice that was crashing like cymbals in his skull. He curled a little closer to whoever he was laying on, using their shoulder to block out the sunlight slicing through the windows.   
  
“Good morning, beautiful.” The voice was closer now, softer but still aggravating. Koushi swiped a hand blindly until it collided with a face.  
  
“Fuck off, Daichi,” he growled.  
  
“Shut up, Kou-chan,” snapped Oikawa from somewhere near Koushi’s hip. Koushi buried his face a little deeper into his pillow’s t shirt and let himself drift back to sleep.  
  
When he woke up the second time that day it was to Kuroo dumping him on the floor in a mad dash for the bathroom. He groaned loudly, holding his head to make sure it hadn’t actually fallen off. A chuckle from the couch told him Daichi was still there, and he was too happy.  
  
“What are you doing home?” Koushi asked, sitting up slowly. He made a face at the raspberry-and-dumpster taste in his mouth and sat very still, waiting for the room to stop spinning.  
  
“I told you yesterday I was only going for the night,” Daichi answered. “My parents were leaving today for Hokkaido.”  
  
“I figured you’d stay the extra time at Asahi’s,” Koushi said. Akaashi made a petulant noise and curled himself around Oikawa. Koushi threaded his fingers through Akaashi’s hair unthinkingly. Daichi shrugged.  
  
“I wanted to come home,” he said.  
  
“Did you two get in a fight?” Koushi asked, stamping down the ornery part of him that wanted it to be true.  
  
“What? No,” Daichi answered. “I just felt like coming home a little early. If I’m going to be in the way, though, I could find a place to stay tonight.”  
  
“No, I think we’ve done enough damage for one weekend,” Koushi said, plucking the empty wine bottle out of Akaashi’s hand. “As long as you’re fine listening to Oikawa whine about his super-secret crush on-”  
  
“Kou-chan!” Akaashi whined louder than ever at Oikawa’s shout, and Koushi was inclined to agree with him.  
  
“Relax, Oikawa,” Koushi soothed. “Even if I did know for sure, I wouldn’t tell anyone.”  
  
“This is why you never win Pathetic Soul of the Week,” Oikawa huffed.   
  
“I thought it was because you’re just a lost cause,” Koushi said. Oikawa grunted.  
  
“Why is everyone talking?” Akaashi grumbled. Koushi hummed softly, stroking through his hair again.  
  
“Sorry, do you want to go sleep some more?” he asked. “It’s dark in my room.”  
  
“Sugamama,” commented Oikawa, but he did hobble to his feet, taking Akaashi with him to the quiet refuge of Koushi’s bed. Kuroo emerged from the bathroom as they passed, staring blearily after them.   
  
“Where’re they going?” he rasped.  
  
“To sleep some more,” Koushi answered. “Did you grab the pain medicine from in there?” Kuroo held up a bottle as he shuffled over to the couch. He offered them to Koushi then flopped onto Daichi with a pathetic whine. Koushi took the bottle and shook out two pills, swallowing them dry.  
  
“If you two are up for it, I made some breakfast,” Daichi offered.  
  
“Sawamura, you’re a saint,” Kuroo mumbled, but made no move to get it.  
  
“You have to go to the kitchen if you want it,” Daichi said.  
  
“Sawamura, you’re the devil,” Kuroo said. Koushi was inclined to agree as he took stock of his hangover.  
  
“I’d get it for you, but I’m covered in cat,” Daichi laughed. Even with as painful as existing was then, the sound was enough to make Koushi smile. Daichi smiled back at him, and for a moment, the world was perfect.  
  
“So when’s the wedding?” Kuroo asked, and the moment came crashing to the ground. Koushi looked down at his hands.  
  
 _Don’t say anything_ , he told himself. _Don’t say it. Don’t want it._  
  
“Kuroo, if all you’re going to do is be an ass, you’re welcome to go back to your own apartment,” Daichi said. There was something stilted about it, something just a little flat in his voice, and it made Koushi’s heart clench.  
  
He reminded himself that Daichi was probably dating Asahi.  
  
“Just saying,” Kuroo continued, either unaware or uncaring of the tension in the air. “It’s been what, four years since you moved in together? We all figured you’d have sent out invitations within a month.”  
  
“It’s not like that,” Koushi said. “You know that, Kuroo. Daichi and I are friends.”  
  
“Right,” Daichi agreed softly. “Just friends.” Koushi bit his lip and pushed himself to his feet to hide how much the conversation was getting to him.  
  
“Where’s that breakfast?” Koushi asked. “I should probably check it for radioactivity.”  
  
“Rude,” Daichi commented. “It’s in the microwave.”  
  
Koushi made his escape to the kitchen, where he found the unidentifiable mess Daichi claimed was food. He shook his head fondly as he dumped it into the trash and started digging in the fridge for a real breakfast.  
  
“Hey.” He glanced up to see Kuroo closing the kitchen door behind him. “Need a hand?”  
  
“I think you’ve done enough,” Koushi answered.   
  
“I’m sorry,” Kuroo murmured. “I didn’t realize it would be such a sore subject.”  
  
“What did you expect?” Koushi asked, cracking eggs into a bowl two at a time. “If I asked Bokuto when he was marrying you, how do you think you would react?”  
  
“It’s different,” Kuroo said.  
  
“No it’s not,” Koushi muttered. He picked up a whisk and started beating the eggs.  
  
“It is,” Kuroo insisted. “Bo and I, this has only been the past year or so. And it’s just me. But you and Daichi, we all thought you would be together by now. Hell, we all thought you were together in high school.”  
  
“Well, you thought wrong,” Koushi said. He paused in his movements. “Daichi doesn’t feel that way about me. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you all that.”  
  
“Suga, I don’t think-”  
  
“It doesn’t matter what you think,” Koushi said. He poured some of the egg into a smaller bowl. “It doesn’t change anything. What do you want in your omelet?” Kuroo stared at him in silence for a moment longer, but Koushi largely ignored him as he started loading up Daichi’s favorite ingredients.  
  
“Ham and onions,” he answered at last.  
  
“Cheese?”  
  
“Sure.”   
  
Koushi nodded and sectioned off Kuroo’s portion of the eggs. He worked in silence, ignoring his companion until Kuroo gave up and returned to the living room. Koushi continued cooking until he had enough food for all of them, plus some extra in case Oikawa and Akaashi woke up hungry. By the time he sat at his usual place at the table beside Daichi, he was ready to pretend everything was normal once again.  
  
-  
  
Daichi’s first day at the restaurant was a disaster.  
  
Koushi burned more dishes - and fingers - from the stress that afternoon alone than he had in his entire career. Everything that could possibly have gone wrong - short of the kitchen burning down or nuclear Armageddon, neither of which would have surprised Koushi by the end of the night - went wrong in rapid succession.  
  
Three out of their five scheduled wait staff called in sick, along with two of the chefs. The backup cook who came in dropped three separate plates on the floor and had to start each from scratch. A surprise inspector came in just as Koushi burned his second pot of rice and swore loudly. Two different children vomited on their tables and at least three more threw full-blown tantrums.   
  
Koushi ended the evening by dumping half a pot of scalding water on himself. He sat at the end of his shift on the back stoop, sopping wet and ready to cry. He buried his head in his hands just as the door opened and Daichi sat on the stoop next to him. He wrapped an arm around Koushi’s shoulders and pulled him close.  
  
“That was not how I wanted your first day here to go,” Koushi groaned.   
  
“It wasn’t your fault,” Daichi said. “All things considered, you did a pretty damn good job today.” Koushi laughed humorlessly.  
  
“Sure as hell feels like it’s my fault,” he said. Daichi squeezed his shoulder.  
  
“You hungry?” he asked. Koushi looked at him incredulously, and he grinned back. “Let’s go find the trashiest junk food we can and eat way more of it than we should,” he said.  
  
“You know, Daichi, not all problems can be solved with food,” Koushi said, even as he allowed Daichi to pull him to his feet.  
  
“You say that, but you’re still gonna go with me,” he teased.   
  
“You do realize I can get you fired, right?”  
  
“Yeah,” Daichi hummed. “But you’re not going to.” He slapped Koushi on the shoulder and took off down the ally. Koushi shook his head and followed at a trot.  
  
“So where do you propose we begin our search?” he asked when he caught up with Daichi, just before they reached the street.  
  
“There’s usually cheap food of questionable origins near the station,” Daichi answered with a shrug. “Let’s start there.”  
  
In the end, they found an American-style fast food restaurant that was still open. Koushi ordered what looked like an entire cow on a bun while Daichi bought something filled with beans and cheese. They were giggling as they took their haul to a table in the farthest corner and sat down.  
  
“We shouldn’t eat this,” Daichi said even as Koushi lifted his cow sandwich to his mouth. He raised one eyebrow and took a massive bite.  
  
Flavor, sweet and fattening, burst onto his tongue in glorious decadence. Koushi’s eyes slid closed and he moaned around the nirvana in his mouth.  
  
“Oh my god,” he groaned when he had swallowed enough to speak. “Daichi, this was a mistake.” Daichi was too busy following the trail of cheese between his mouth and his meal to answer. He finally broke it and looked up at Koushi with a laugh that felt like summer and warmth and home. Koushi answered with one of his own. He picked up his cow and continued eating.  
  
“Thank you,” said Daichi. Koushi stared at him curiously.  
  
“For what?” he asked.  
  
“For being my friend,” Daichi answered. “For always being up for an adventure. For everything, I guess.” Pink flooded Daichi’s cheeks and he smiled down at the table. “I’m really glad I know you, Koushi.”  
  
It was all Koushi could do not to sputter and spray half-chewed cow all over the table at the sound of his name on Daichi’s lips. It occurred to him then that he had never heard it before, even though he called Daichi by his given name all the time. Something about it felt intimate, warm and familiar in ways Koushi had never imagined. He bit his lip and glanced up shyly.  
  
“I’m really glad I know you too, Daichi,” he said softly. The pink on Daichi’s face deepened. Koushi stuffed another bite of cow in his mouth to keep from doing something incredibly stupid, like commenting on how cute it was. “You never did tell me about your last visit home,” he said a moment later. Daichi made a face.  
  
“I don’t remember Asahi being such a shit,” he grumbled. Koushi giggled.  
  
“Oh my god, what did he do?” he asked. Daichi’s hands fidgeted on the table and he glanced away.  
  
“Nothing,” he grumbled. Koushi grinned.  
  
“Daichi,” he purred. “You know if you don’t tell me, I’ll call him and he will.” Daichi flinched, still staring at the table.  
  
“He… found out I have a crush on someone,” he said. Koushi suddenly wished he hadn’t pushed. “He spent the entire afternoon trying to get me to confess.”  
  
“He found out about that?” Koushi gasped. “So, are you two dating now?” Daichi glanced at him, a strange expression on his face.  
  
“No, I- I haven’t told the guy I like yet,” he said. Koushi’s brow knit together.  
  
“Wait, I thought you had a crush on Asahi,” he said. Daichi snorted, looking Koushi in the eye at last.  
  
“Why the hell would I have a crush on Asahi?” he cried. Koushi threw his hands up.  
  
“I don’t know!” Koushi yelled. “He’s sweet, he’s shy, he’s pretty cute, I guess. Why wouldn’t you have a crush on him?” Daichi’s cheeks passed pink entirely and turned a rare crimson.  
  
“Because I’m in love with someone else,” he said at last.   
  
“Who?” Koushi asked before he could stop himself. In a desperate bid to cover it, he leaned across the table and poked Daichi’s cheek. “Who is it? Do I know him? Is he cute? Oh! Can I guess?”  
  
“Please do not start guessing,” Daichi groaned.  
  
“Kuroo,” Koushi said. Daichi let his head fall onto the table. “Okay, not Kuroo. Tanaka? No. Oikawa? Oh god, please tell me it’s not, like, Tsukishima or someone-”  
  
“Suga, please shut up,” Daichi said without pulling his face away from the table.  
  
“I will, on one condition,” Koushi said.  
  
“I hate your conditions,” Daichi grumbled.  
  
“This one’s easy,” Koushi protested.  
  
“What.”  
  
“You have to buy me a plant,” Koushi said. “And keep it alive, ‘cause we both know I’ll kill it in a week.” Daichi smiled and shook his head.  
  
“Deal.” Koushi grinned at him and they finished their meal, chatting about anything and everything, just like they had always done.  
  
-  
  
“Thanks again for helping us move all this,” Nishinoya said as Koushi set the last of his boxes on the floor. “Ryuu was even less help than I thought he would be.”  
  
“No problem,” Koushi said, stretching and listening to the cracks that echoed up and down his spine. “He’s not taking this breakup very well, is he?”  
  
“Nope,” Noya answered cheerily. “Which is exactly why it’s a good thing she kept the apartment. Now he’s forced to live with me and get a little bro-lovin.”  
  
“Bro-lovin,” Koushi repeated. “Noya, are you sure this is a good idea?” Noya flapped a hand around, waving Koushi’s words away.  
  
“It’s fine,” he said. “’S not like with you and Daichi, after all.”  
  
“How is this any different from that?” Koushi asked. Noya shrugged.  
  
“Well, you’ve been in love with Daichi for like six or seven years, right? That’s a bit more than a crush, Suga-san. I’m pretty much over whatever might have happened between me ‘n’ Ryuu.” Noya shot Koushi a smile and flopped onto the couch. “Speakin’ of, are you ever going to do anything about you ‘n’ Daichi?” Koushi groaned and fell into the seat next to Noya.  
  
“What can I do?” he asked. “Daichi doesn’t want anything to do with me, at least not like that.”  
  
“Dude, I don’t even know where to begin with that,” Noya said. “You realize he looks at you like you’re made of starlight or some shit, don’t you?”  
  
“Sure he does,” Koushi laughed. “I have a chance with Daichi, and Tanaka has a chance with Shimizu.”  
  
“That’s different,” Noya insisted. “No one’s got a chance with Kiyoko-san, ‘cept probably Yacchan. She’s a goddess on earth. Daichi-san, on the other hand, is a total dork who’s got it just as bad for you as you do for him.”  
  
“Noya, don’t be mean,” Koushi said. “It’s not funny anymore.”  
  
“You’re right, it’s not,” Noya said. “Whatever. I’m gonna order pizza. You want any?” He pushed himself off the couch, already fiddling with his phone.  
  
“Do you have any idea how unhealthy that stuff is?” Koushi asked.  
  
“So, pepperoni?”  
  
“Sausage.”   
  
Noya threw his head back and laughed even as he wandered into the kitchen. Koushi couldn’t help his own answering smile. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back onto the back of the couch.  
  
He wasn’t sure how long he was alone before he heard the first tentative shuffle. He forced himself not to smile as the noise paused, then began again. It kept happening, off and on every few seconds, until the other end of the couch sank. There was another pause, longer than any of the others, then the shuffling started again, and the weight moved closer.   
  
Koushi managed to keep it together all the way up until Tanaka actually climbed into his lap before he burst out laughing.  
  
“Suga-san,” Tanaka whined. Koushi only laughed harder, wrapping his arms around Tanaka’s waist and pulling him closer.  
  
“I’m sorry, Ryuu,” he gasped as he hid his face in Tanaka’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, I tried not to laugh, really.”  
  
“You don’t love me,” Tanaka sobbed. Koushi shook his head and took to stroking the back of Tanaka’s neck, a motion that had always soothed him before.  
  
“Of course I love you,” Koushi said. “I just also love laughing at you.” Tanaka grumbled something under his breath, but he settled his head on Koushi’s shoulder, leaning into his embrace.  
  
“I really thought she loved me,” Tanaka whispered. “I thought we were gonna be together, y’know.”  
  
“What happened?” Koushi asked. “You don’t have to tell me, of course, but I think-”  
  
“Nah, I wanna tell you,” Tanaka interrupted. “You’re always a good listener.” He sighed heavily, staring into empty space. “She knew I was bi, right? I told her straight out when we started dating. And she was cool with it, y’know? But then she found out that I actually dated a dude once and all of a sudden it was like every time I even mentioned a guy, or was in the same room with one, she thought I was cheatin’ on her. Or that I was gonna cheat on her. Hell, she thought I was cheatin’ on her with you once.”  
  
“Did you tell her that’s not how it works?” Koushi asked. Tanaka nodded.  
  
“She didn’t believe me. Kept sayin’ she couldn’t trust me not to miss bein’ with a guy. Couldn’t trust me to just be friends with anyone.” Tanaka sounded more tired than anything else. Koushi kept stroking the back of his neck and wondered if this, the kind of casual touch that Tanaka shared with a lot of the people he cared about, had made the whole thing worse. He wondered if he had made it worse himself, by indulging in it.  
  
“I’m sorry, Ryuu,” sighed Koushi. “I wish you hadn’t had to go through that.”  
  
“It’s not your fault,” Tanaka mumbled. “I’m not gonna give up how I am with my friends to make someone sure I’m not a two-timer.”  
  
Noya came in then and cuddled up on Koushi’s other side. For a moment, it was more quiet than Koushi could ever remember Noya’s apartment being. Then,  
  
“Hey, Ryuu, you wanna take your mind off it by making fun of Suga-san’s love life?” Koushi whipped his head around to glare at Noya, but Tanaka had already taken the bait.  
  
“What’d he do this time?” Tanaka asked.  
  
“Excuse me?” Koushi screeched.  
  
“Absolutely nothin’,” Noya said. “He still thinks Daichi doesn’t have a massive, embarrassing crush on him.”  
  
“Suga,” Tanaka groaned.  
  
“Can we not talk about this?” Koushi asked. Something in his voice must have caught their attention, because much to Koushi’s astonishment, they did change the subject. The rest of the afternoon was spent inhaling cheap pizza and trash talking the tv. Koushi was glad.  
  
-  
  
Koushi lay on his stomach on Daichi’s bed, watching with a smirk as Daichi struggled to pull up a pair of jeans.  
  
“Pretty sure those are mine, Thunder Thighs,” he commented. Daichi shot him a glare in the mirror, but continued what he was doing. Koushi bit his lip, watching the way Daichi’s ass hung out over the waistband of the jeans. He was wearing those tight, dark green briefs that clung _just so_ , and every time he jumped to try and tug the denim up further it would jiggle. Koushi stared, silently sending out a prayer of thanks that he was alive to see this sight.  
  
“I bought these last week,” Daichi argued. “They must have shrunk in the wash.”  
  
“Right. Which is why they look identical to the pair I bought last month after Oikawa spilled vodka and paint all over my old ones. Though, if you do manage to get them on, the rhinestones on the ass will definitely send a message.” Koushi snickered to himself as Daichi twisted in an attempt to see the back pockets for himself. He dropped his head into his hands, his shoulders slumping.  
  
“Suga?” he asked, voice muffled by his palms.  
  
“Yes, Daichi?” Koushi hummed.  
  
“I’m a mess,” Daichi said.  
  
“Well-”  
  
“Can you help me?” Whatever he had been expecting Daichi to say, that definitely wasn’t it. Koushi’s chest clenched tight, and for all that he had known before that this was a date Daichi was preparing for, the reality hit him hard. He stood and padded over to stand next to Daichi at his closet.  
  
“Okay,” he said softly. “What do you need?”  
  
“To not look like an idiot,” Daichi answered. Koushi snorted and shook his head.  
  
“All right, first things first. Ditch the skinny jeans.”   
  
“I thought I looked good in skinny jeans,” Daichi said.  
  
“You do,” Koushi agreed, “but you look better in slacks. That grey pair, specifically.”  
  
“Those are too small,” Daichi argued.  
  
“Exactly,” Koushi said. “They’re too small in the ass and the thighs. They show your legs’ best features in their best light. Also, that shirt sucks. You have a green sweater somewhere, the one your mom gave you? Where is it?”  
  
“Haven’t seen it,” Daichi said as he peeled Koushi’s jeans off his calves. “Actually, I think it’s in your room.”  
  
“Whatever,” Koushi said. “This one will work too.” He held up a blue sweater and a white button-up. “You can borrow my scarf, the one hanging in the entryway. Wear the black loafers and muss up your hair a bit and you’ll look great.” Daichi blushed lightly as he accepted the shirts.  
  
“Thanks, Suga,” he said in such a soft and earnest voice that Koushi flushed as well.  
  
“Well,” he said, eying Daichi’s hair and trying not to watch the way the muscles of his arms moved under his skin as he flicked through his closet. “You’d be lost without me, after all.” Daichi coughed out a laugh.  
  
“You don’t know how true that is,” he said. Koushi grinned and slapped Daichi’s ass.  
  
“Try not to make a complete idiot of yourself?” he said. “This guy sounds nice. Don’t blow this one.”  
  
“Isn’t your advice usually to blow my dates?” Daichi asked. Koushi gasped, covering his mouth with his hand.  
  
“Sawamura Daichi, I don’t like that implication,” he screeched.  
  
“Is it implication if it’s true?” Daichi asked. He stroked his chin, pondering. Koushi shoved him and he only hummed in thought, swaying at the force of it, but not relenting.  
  
“Oh my god you’re the worst best friend ever,” Koushi cried.  
  
“Oh, that reminds me,” Daichi said, breaking character to tug on the slacks Koushi had suggested. “One of my cousins is getting married next month. You wanna come with?”  
  
“Is your grandma going to be there?” Koushi asked. “The cool one, not the one from Osaka.”  
  
“Yeah, she’ll be there,” Daichi said. “On second thought, never mind. I’ll ask Kuroo to be my date or something.”  
  
“You would keep me away from her like that?” Koushi asked, scandalized. “Daichi, I’m shocked. You never know which one of these family events will be her last!”  
  
“She’s sixty-five, not a hundred,” Daichi said. “And the two of you are close enough as it is. I don’t need you gossiping and throwing people significant looks at yet another family function.”  
  
“But if I don’t go,” Koushi hummed, flopping on his back on Daichi’s bed, “you’ll get to hear all about how much she misses ‘that nice Koushi boy’ and how ‘you should bring him by more often’.”  
  
“Unfortunately, that’s not all I’ll hear,” Daichi said. “But if I do bring you, then I’ll get her asking why I don’t have a boyfriend yet.”  
  
“Why don’t you have a boyfriend yet?” Koushi asked, trying with all his might to keep his voice light and playful. Daichi cleared his throat awkwardly.  
  
“You know me,” he said, his voice filtering strangely through the sweater as he pulled it over his head. “I couldn’t be anything but footloose and fancy free.”  
  
“Oh, sure,” Koushi agreed. He coughed and blinked rapidly to clear any errant tears from his eyes. He had to cut the tension. “I always knew those people who said you’d be a husband with a white picket fence and two-point-five kids by now were wrong.”  
  
“Sure,” Daichi said. “I guess I just haven’t- just haven’t found the right person yet.”  
  
“You will,” Koushi assured him, though his eyes and throat burned. He picked up a magazine from Daichi’s nightstand to have something to do with his hands. “Who knows. Maybe it’ll be this guy you’re going out with today.”   
  
“Yeah,” Daichi mumbled. “Maybe.”  
  
“Well, good luck,” Koushi said. “Call me if he turns out to be a serial killer, text me if he turns out to be good in bed.” Daichi snorted and shook his head.  
  
“Will do,” he said, and with that he was gone. Koushi stared at the pages of his magazine, pretending there were no tears streaming down his cheeks, that he didn’t want anything.   
  
-  
  
Daichi had twenty-seven cousins, none of whom liked Koushi. It was interesting, being hated by more than twenty people at once, all of whom were related to his own best friend. It made family gatherings fun, especially when Daichi’s parents, his grandparents, and all his aunts and uncles adored him. Koushi brushed off the glares and passive-aggressive comments with a shrug as he dragged Daichi over to their table at the reception.      
  
“Daichi-kun, you’re here!” shouted one of Daichi’s cousins, even though she was sitting less than a foot away. Her grin dropped into a sneer. “Oh, but I see you brought that Sugawara again.”  
  
“Hello, Mariko-chan,” Koushi greeted. “I see your hair hasn’t grown back from that curling iron incident.” Mariko gave him a smile like a rusted knife. Her date rolled her eyes and leaned around Mariko and Daichi to shake Koushi’s hand.  
  
“I’m Mitsuko,” she said.   
  
“Koushi, but everyone calls me Suga,” he replied with a smile.  
  
“You’ll have to forgive her. She gets a little bitter when she’s had too much,” Mitsuko said. Koushi laughed.  
  
“Oh, no, she’s always hated me,” he admitted. “All of Daichi’s cousins have. I’m used to it.”  
  
“They don’t hate you,” Daichi argued, sounding genuinely upset.  
  
“No, they do,” Koushi said. “They’re all bitter because I’m your grandma’s favorite.” Mitsuko threw her head back and laughed.  
  
“You didn’t mention Daichi-kun had such a cute boyfriend, Mari-chan,” she giggled. Mariko made a face.  
  
“Oh, Daichi and I aren’t together,” Koushi said quickly. “We’ve been best friends since high school, though, so a lot of people tend to think that.”  
  
“Dai-kun can do much better,” Mariko sniffed. “He’s got plenty of nice, muscley boys around him. Like that one, what was his name? With the rooster hair and the glinty eyes?”  
  
“Kuroo?” Koushi suggested. Mariko sniffed.  
  
“Now that was a fine specimen of man,” she said. “That’s the kind of boy you need, Dai-kun. Someone big and strong and smart, with those arms he could use to hold you up against the wall while he-”  
  
“Obaa-chan!” Daichi called out, his voice cracking. He stood to greet his grandmother, almost knocking his chair over in his haste. Koushi shot Mariko and Mitsuko a grin and did the same.   
  
“Daichi-kun, Koushi-kun, it’s good to see you both,” she said, reaching out to drop a hand on each of their shoulders. Koushi grinned and leaned in to hug her fully.  
  
Sawamura Setsuko looked almost exactly like her grandson. Square jaw, stout build, a kind but no-nonsense face that Koushi had loved from the first time he had met her. She held Koushi tight, burrowing her head into his chest and wrapping herself up in him.   
  
“How have you been, Baa-chan?” Koushi asked, laughing when squeezed him even tighter before releasing him.  
  
“Miserable, Koushi-kun, absolutely miserable,” she said. “It’s been over a year since you’ve come to brighten up my days.” Koushi rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.  
  
“I’m sorry, Baa-chan,” he said. She waved his apology away.  
  
“No matter, it’s that grandson of mine’s fault,” she said. “Between the two of us, I think he’s keeping you from me on purpose. Doesn’t want me poking my nose into why he hasn’t gotten the balls to ask you out yet.”  
  
“Obaa-chan,” Daichi scolded. “We talked about this. Suga and I don’t have that kind of relationship.”  
  
“Yes, because you won’t be a man and ask for it,” Setsuko said.   
  
“Don’t blame Daichi-kun for having good taste,” Mariko commented. Setsuko narrowed her eyes and pointed at her.  
  
“You have little room to talk, missy,” she said. “This girl is the first decent one you’ve brought to meet me since you were twelve. Koushi-kun, on the other hand, is a wonderful boy who would be perfect for Dai-kun.”  
  
“Unfortunately, Baa-chan, Daichi’s right,” Koushi said. “We’re just friends.”  
  
“Bah!” she said, slapping him on the shoulder. “I know just friends when I see it. Neither of you are content with-”  
  
“Obaa-san.” Daichi’s voice was stern, sharper than Koushi had heard it in quite some time. “Suga is the last person I would be in any sort of romantic relationship with. Now can we please drop it?” The table fell silent, all eyes on Daichi. One by one, Koushi felt their gazes flick over to where he was standing, arms wrapped around his middle.  
  
“I didn’t realize it was such a repulsive idea,” he whispered.  
  
“Suga, I didn’t mean-”  
  
“No, I know what you meant,” Koushi snapped. He turned and gave Setsuko a shallow bow. “Excuse me,” he said. Without looking at anyone else, he turned on his heel and stalked out of the reception.  
  
His feet brought him to a bathroom down the hall from the ballroom. He slammed the door open and stormed over to the sink, turning the water on as cold as it would go and dunking his entire head under the faucet. The cold water streamed over his face, and he pretended there were no tears mixing in with it. Over the rush of the water he could hear the door open and the sound of footsteps drawing close to him.  
  
“Go away, Daichi,” he said without looking up.  
  
“It’s me.” Koushi jerked up to see Mitsuko standing a few feet away, a sad smile on her face. “Sorry, I know this is the mens’ room, but I thought you could use someone to talk to.” Koushi stared at her blankly as she reached around him to turn the water off and pull several paper towels out of the dispenser. “Here,” she offered, dabbing them around Koushi’s face and neck. He took them from her and continued the job himself.  
  
“You don’t have to do this, you know,” he whispered. “There’s a reason all his cousins hate me.”  
  
“They hate you because they don’t understand,” she said. “They see what a great guy you are, and how happy you make Daichi-kun, and then they see how much he wants to be with you, even though you’re ‘just friends’. At least, that’s what Mariko’s mad about.”  
  
“Well, there was the time I put hair dye in her conditioner right before she had a date,” he admitted. Mitsuko snorted.  
  
“The point is, he’s out there right now getting a tongue lashing from his grandmother, and even Mari-chan is in on it,” she said. “And from what I got before he stopped trying to defend himself, he said that because he thought a relationship with him would be the last thing you wanted. He meant that he wouldn’t put you in an uncomfortable position, because he thinks you’re aromantic and wouldn’t want that with anyone.”  
  
“Why would he think that?” Koushi asked. She gave him a sad smile.  
  
“Because he doesn’t think he deserves you,” she said. “I take it you haven’t been in a lot of relationships since you two met?” Koushi shook his head.  
  
“No, I’ve never dated anyone,” he admitted. “I’ve been too busy wanting him to look at anyone else. But.” He looked down at the towels in his hands, twisting them together. “I know everyone says he loves me back, but they don’t know him like I do. If he wants someone, he goes and gets them. I’ve seen it time and time again since high school, but he’s never so much as looked at me. He doesn’t love me that way, and I’m okay with that. I’d rather have his friendship than nothing at all.” Mitsuko gave him a sad look and a squeeze to the shoulder.  
  
“Just, promise me you’ll give him the benefit of the doubt tonight,” she said. “He already feels like shit for what he said - which he should, don’t get me wrong, but. Go easy on him? Have him sleep on the couch rather than outside?” He smiled despite himself.  
  
“I make no promises,” he said. She grinned and slapped his arm.  
  
“That’s the spirit,” she said. “Now come on, let’s ditch our dates and dance together.” He laughed as he let her drag her back to the ballroom.   
  
For the rest of the night, he didn’t spare Daichi one thought.  
  
-  
  
In the weeks that followed, Koushi resolved to act like the wedding had never happened. For the most part, anyway - he did go home that night with Mitsuko’s number and they did spend more time texting each other than was strictly necessary. The morning after the reception, however, Koushi made them both breakfast and poured Daichi’s coffee the way he liked it without so much as a single comment or sharp word.   
  
He could feel Daichi wondering when the storm would break. He was careful to be especially nice to Koushi, doing extra chores around the apartment, keeping his teasing to a minimum. Koushi ignored all this care and went on with life the same way they always did.   
  
Koushi was not ashamed to admit that he milked Daichi’s worry for all it was worth. He reveled in the little presents Daichi would leave him, the packages of sweets, the new scarf he had been eying, the book he’d mentioned wanting to read that appeared the next day on his dresser without a word. Daichi was always affectionate, but when he thought Koushi was mad at him it reached whole new levels of sweetness. After a particularly long and stressful day at the restaurant, Daichi even massaged Koushi’s feet.  
  
It was a blissful equilibrium, one that slowly settled back into what their relationship had always been. Koushi sat on the couch one night almost a month after the wedding, watching a movie with his toes tucked under Daichi’s thighs, and wondered how he could ever want more than this.  
  
“I’m turning in early,” Daichi announced suddenly. Koushi blinked at him.  
  
“Already?” he asked. Daichi shrugged.   
  
“I’ve got an exam tomorrow and I wanted to get in some last-minute studying in the morning,” he said.  
  
“Alright, you old man,” Koushi teased, using a foot to shove Daichi’s shoulder. “You go rest up for that test. I’ll see you in the morning.”  
  
“Night, Suga,” Daichi said. “Love you.”   
  
“Love you too,” Koushi answered, already distracted by the tv. Daichi was already in his bedroom and probably asleep before Koushi realized what had just happened.  
  
-  
  
Koushi didn’t see Daichi at all until the next evening. He woke up sometime after ten in the morning to find the apartment empty and a mug of coffee waiting for him in the living room. He remembered what Daichi had said about an early exam and cursed himself for not pressing the issue the night before. He had the day off from work and nothing to distract himself from tearing apart the exchange in his head.  
  
Daichi had said that he loved him. That he loved him.  
  
It wasn’t like they weren’t close like that. Koushi knew he loved Daichi as a friend under the pining and the urge to lick the sweat from Daichi’s abs, and he knew that Daichi loved him in return. It’s just.  
  
They never said it. Not once in all the years they had been friends had they ever said those words. That wasn’t how they worked. Which told Koushi one thing.  
  
Daichi meant that he was in love with Koushi.  
  
All those years of crying, of wishing, of wanting and telling himself not to, and Daichi had probably been in love with him the whole time. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to scream or laugh at the giddy rush of emotions blowing through him. He snatched up his phone and fired off a rapid text.  
  
ME: [I think Daichi might be in love with me]  
  
He barely had to wait an entire minute before he got a response.  
  
ALIEN SPAWN: [Well no shit, Kou-chan.]  
  
ALIEN SPAWN: [What finally tipped you off????]  
  
ME: [He said it]  
  
ALIEN SPAWN: [Details, Kou-chan, details!!!]  
  
ME: [Okay I don’t think he meant to say it]  
  
ME: [He was going to bed lats night and he just kinda]  
  
ME: [said it]  
  
ALIEN SPAWN: [So what are you going to do now?????]  
  
ME: [Why do you think I’m texting you]  
  
ME: [I have no fucking idea what to do]  
  
ME: [Whenever my friends ask me I just say to suck their dick]  
  
ALIEN SPAWN: [That seems like fitting advice for this situation..]  
  
ME: [We aren’t even dating yet though]  
  
ALIEN SPAWN: [Trust me, Kou-chan, you’ve been dating for the past six years. Suck his dick. It’ll be fine.]  
  
Koushi rolled his eyes. He didn’t know what he had expected from Oikawa, but this was probably the best he was going to get.  
  
Come to think of it, this was probably the best he was going to get from any of his friends. At least Oikawa had given him some advice, rather than the I-told-you-sos he would hear from anyone else. He glanced at the clock. Daichi’s class usually ran from eleven to twelve-thirty, but since it was an exam period he would probably be home earlier than usual. The clock read eleven-fifty, and Koushi panicked. He was sitting on the couch in a pair of ratty boxers and one of Daichi’s old threadbare sweatshirts. It wasn’t exactly the look he had hoped for when he pronounced his undying love for his best friend.  
  
Before he could do anything about it, though, the sound of a key turning in the lock stopped him cold. Daichi pushed open the door and called out a tentative-sounding “I’m home”.  
  
“Welcome home,” Koushi said on reflex. Daichi flinched lightly and rubbed at the back of his neck.  
  
“Listen, Suga,” he said, his cheeks red. “A-about last night. I, um, I might have said-”  
  
Koushi didn’t think. He didn’t pause to contemplate or argue or want. He just walked into the entryway, threw his arms around Daichi’s neck, and kissed him.   
  
For a long moment, Daichi didn’t react. Terrified he had made the wrong decision, Koushi squeezed his eyes shut and started to pull away.  
  
Warm, strong arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him tight against Daichi’s torso. Daichi tilted his head and pressed their lips together more firmly, groaning as his fit between Koushi’s perfectly.   
  
Koushi was surrounded by Daichi, by his scent, by his warmth, by the thickness of his arms. He whimpered against Daichi’s mouth and slid one hand up into Daichi’s hair. Daichi broke the kiss to bury his face in Koushi’s neck.  
  
“Koushi,” he whispered.  
  
“Daichi,” Koushi sobbed. “Daichi, I love you.”  
  
“I love you too,” Daichi said, his voice cracking. “God, Koushi, I love you so much.”  
  
“Marry me.” Daichi stiffened and pulled away enough to look at Koushi.  
  
“Shouldn’t we at least go on a date first?” he asked, but he was smiling, grinning from ear to ear, and there were tears in his eyes.  
  
“We can go on a date after you say yes,” Koushi said. Daichi laughed and hid his face in Koushi’s shoulder again.  
  
“Yes,” he whispered. “Yes, of course.” He laughed, the laugh that made Koushi think of summer and warmth and home, and used his hold on Koushi’s waist to lift him into the air.  
  
“Daichi!” Koushi cried, clinging to his shoulders. Daichi only laughed again and spun them around, staring up at Koushi with so much joy in his eyes it made Koushi want to cry.  
  
“I love you,” he said.   
  
“I know,” Koushi whispered. He reached out with shaking fingers to touch Daichi’s cheek. “I love you too.” Daichi lowered Suga until their lips met again.  
  
This kiss wasn’t anything like the first. That one had been timid and chaste, afraid of pushing past a line that would change everything forever. This kiss was desperate.   
  
Koushi parted his lips as soon as they touched Daichi’s, gasping as Daichi licked at them. He met Daichi full-force, passing his tongue along the back of Daichi’s teeth and the roof of his mouth, tangling with Daichi until he wasn’t sure where he ended and Daichi began. Daichi groaned, the rush of noise and air flooding Koushi’s mouth and his mind and making him dizzy. Daichi’s hands migrated, one sliding up Koushi’s back and one settling on his hip and drawing him even closer. A jolt ran up Koushi’s spine at the force, at the possessiveness of the gesture. He whined and pushed forward in return, until there was no room between them. Daichi tore away from his mouth to kiss along his jaw to his neck.  
  
“Daichi, wha-” he broke off into a moan as Daichi sucked at the skin under his ear, laving it with his tongue. He pulled away to blow cool air along the newly blossomed mark, then leaned in to nip at it. Koushi let out a shuddering gasp as his hips bucked forward into Daichi’s. Daichi stopped dead, his body going tense.  
  
“I’m sor-”  
  
“It’s okay,” Koushi whispered, holding him in place. “Don’t be scared. It’s just me.”  
  
“There’s no such thing as _just_ you,” Daichi said, but he relaxed a bit. “You’re _everything_ , Koushi.”  
  
“I’m still just me,” Koushi replied. “Daichi, you’ve known me for years. You’re safe in my hands.” Daichi stood up straight, looking at him with eyes full of so much emotion it made Koushi dizzy. Koushi stared back, trying to force all the reassurance he could into his eyes as he let his hands slide down to the hem of Daichi’s shirt. Wordlessly, he pulled it up and over Daichi’s head. He tossed it blindly to one side and leaned in to press his lips against Daichi’s pectoral, right above his heart.  
  
“And they call me a sap,” Daichi said, his voice shaky.  
  
“That’s because you are one,” Koushi replied. He ran his fingertips up Daichi’s stomach, feeling the dips and ridges of his abs as he kissed his way over to the other pec.   
  
“Suga,” Daichi whispered.  
  
“You can tell me to stop anytime,” Koushi said. He raised his head to look Daichi in the eye. “I mean it. The second you get uncomfortable, I want you to stop me.”  
  
“I doubt that’ll happen,” Daichi said, “but I will.” Koushi nodded and looked down, suddenly unsure of himself again. “Hey,” Daichi murmured. “Same goes for you, okay?”  
  
“Okay,” Koushi agreed. He leaned up to give Daichi one more peck on the lips, then turned his attention to the rest of Daichi’s body, waiting and willing under his fingertips. Though he wasn’t on the university team, Daichi still played regularly. He worked out with Kuroo and Oikawa, and it showed. His torso was a masterpiece, all chiseled planes and deep crevices that Koushi wanted to drag his tongue along. Koushi’s eyes caught on the trail of hair under Daichi’s navel, and it was all he could do not to groan with desire. He glanced up at Daichi one more time before sinking to his knees.  
  
“Suga-” Daichi staggered back a step, colliding with the wall behind him. “Suga, what-”  
  
“Relax, Daichi,” Koushi soothed, gripping Daichi’s hips. “It’s okay.”  
  
“But you don’t have to-”  
  
“Daichi.” Koushi glared up at him, the effect somewhat ruined by the bulge in Daichi’s pants hovering near his cheek. “I have wanted to do this for six years. Let me.” Daichi made a choking noise, but he nodded. Koushi smiled softly at him and leaned up on his knees so he could press his face into the soft skin of Daichi’s stomach. He breathed in the smell of Daichi’s cinnamon body wash and the faint traces of sweat and had to keep himself from crying. He pressed a kiss to the right of his belly button, right over the birthmark that had haunted Koushi since he was fifteen. Koushi opened his eyes to see one of Daichi’s hands over his face, the other hovering in the air above Koushi’s head. Koushi rolled his eyes and bit at Daichi’s hip.   
  
“Koushi,” Daichi yelped.   
  
“Stop hiding,” Koushi admonished. “Stop holding yourself back. If I can’t take it, I’ll tell you.” Daichi’s cheeks flooded with color and he nodded. Koushi grabbed the hovering hand and plunked it down on his own head before largely ignoring Daichi and returning to the expanse of skin in front of him.  
  
There was an already-purpling mark on top of the birthmark. Koushi studied it with interest, wondering what the rest of Daichi’s skin would look like littered with the same. He was darker than Koushi, so it would probably take quite a bit to bruise him. Koushi grinned to himself as he accepted the challenge, diving in to suck at a spot between his hip and stomach. Daichi groaned and tightened his hold on Koushi’s hair.  
  
Koushi worked like that for several minutes, releasing one patch of skin only to move and add a new mark a few inches away. By the time he was even considering being ready to move on, Daichi was panting, his hips twitching and bucking under Koushi’s hold. Koushi smiled up at him as he curled his fingers in the waistband of Daichi’s jeans. He would never admit to how much he had practiced for this, but when he leaned in to undo the button and drag down the zipper with nothing but his mouth, it was more than worth it for the breathless moan it earned him.  
  
“Fuck, Koushi,” Daichi groaned as Koushi peeled the denim away, revealing those damn green briefs underneath, straining and dark with precum. Koushi hummed and pressed his cheek to Daichi’s erection.  
  
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” he purred, looking up at Daichi through his eyelashes. Before Daichi could speak, Koushi turned and nuzzled into the bulge of Daichi’s briefs. He traced the outline of his erection with his nose, pausing here and there to kiss at its length. When he reached the tip where the stain was darkest, he fit his mouth over the head, sucking on it over the fabric. Daichi let out a broken noise, bucking wildly.  
  
“Koushi, stop, I’ll-”  
  
“Hold out for me,” Koushi said. He reached up to grip the base of Daichi’s erection, tight. “Please, Daichi, just hold on a little longer.” Daichi whimpered, but he nodded, biting his lip and flexing the hand in Koushi’s hair. Koushi took pity on him, pulling away from his cock and tugging his pants and briefs down. He pulled off his own shirt then paused, realizing his mistake.  
  
“Koushi?”  
  
“Please tell me you have lube somewhere,” he said. Daichi turned a brighter red then he had all night and mumbled something under his breath. “Daichi?”  
  
“…My bag,” he repeated. Koushi stared at him, puzzled, as he dragged Daichi’s bag over to himself. Sure enough, there in the very bottom under notebooks and textbooks and spare gym clothes, was a brand new bottle of lubricant.  
  
“Why do you have this in here?” Koushi asked even as he peeled the plastic off the lid.  
  
“Mitsuko,” Daichi muttered. “Mariko’s girlfriend? She gave it to me.” Koushi stared at the bottle in his hand.  
  
“Okay, we’ll deal with that later,” he said as he climbed to his feet. “Turn around and bend over.” Daichi choked again, but he did as Koushi asked.  
  
Koushi took a moment to appreciate the sight. Daichi had his forearms braced against the wall, his head hanging low between them. The entire expanse of his back was facing Koushi, all taut muscle and dark skin. Koushi laid a hand between his shoulder blades, dragging it down to squeeze at an ass cheek. It was nothing he hadn’t seen before, but he was struck with sudden realization that he could touch, that he could claim and tear and bite and ravish all that skin, that Daichi was _his_. That he didn’t even have to want anymore. He took a shuddering breath and flicked open the bottle of lube.  
  
“Let me know if I go to fast,” Koushi whispered. He poured the lube onto his fingers, surprised at how cold it was. He took a moment to warm it as best he could, before dropping the bottle and bracing his clean hand on the small of Daichi’s back. He brought the other to Daichi’s ass, just resting between the cheeks for a moment. He pressed one finger down, just teasing at slipping inside.  
  
It occurred to Koushi that this was generally as far as his fantasies got. Late at night, when he was either desperate or not paying attention to where his mind was drifting, he thought about this, about doing this with Daichi. But he had never allowed himself to actually cross that line.  
  
He crossed it now, pushing the tip of one finger into Daichi. He eased inside, moving in time with the deep breath that Daichi let out. When he was in to the knuckle, he paused, stroking Daichi’s back and trying to reign in his wild heartbeat.  
  
“M-more,” Daichi gasped. Koushi nodded though he knew Daichi couldn’t see, and started rocking the finger in and out.   
  
“Okay?” he asked. Daichi nodded.  
  
“You can put another in,” he said. Koushi swallowed hard and pulled his finger out, lining up a second.   
  
Daichi groaned as this one slipped in, pushing his hips back to meet Koushi halfway. Koushi’s mouth ran dry at the sight and his fingers twitched, pressing down and in.  
  
“Fuck!” Daichi shouted, his hips bucking. “Fuck, there!”   
  
“Oh?” Koushi asked, a sudden surety filling him. “Here?” He tapped his fingers against the same place, grinning as Daichi whined and jerked.   
  
Koushi set a relentless pace, thrusting his fingers in and out and bumping against Daichi’s prostate as much as he could. He pushed in a third finger without warning, reveling in Daichi’s off-guard moan. When the noises spilling from Daichi’s mouth crescendoed, he pulled out completely, leaving Daichi empty and whining.  
  
“K-Koushi, no, p-please,” Daichi whined, pushing his hips back in a futile search for more friction. Koushi grinned wider at the sight as he kicked off his own boxers.  
  
“Shh, it’s okay, Daichi,” Koushi assured him. He bent to pick up the lube and poured out a handful before tossing it away again. “It’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.” He fisted his cock, trying not to get caught up in how good it felt after neglecting it for so long. He returned his hand to the small of Daichi’s back and pressed himself against Daichi’s ass. He frowned, looking down at Daichi’s back and his legs. “Turn around,” he said at last. Daichi complied easily, wrapping his arms around Koushi’s neck and leaning down to kiss him.   
  
Koushi returned the kiss, sliding his hands down to grip at Daichi’s thighs. He stepped forward until Daichi’s back was pressed against the wall, then bent forward to get a grip. In one steady pull, he lifted Daichi off the floor, pinning him against the wall. Daichi’s legs locked in place around Koushi’s waist, and he whimpered into his mouth.  
  
“Okay?” Koushi asked.  
  
“Fuck, Suga, this is so much more than okay,” Daichi answered. Koushi grinned at him.  
  
“Take that, Mariko,” he muttered. Daichi gave him a puzzled look, but he shook his head. “Okay, I’m going to put it in now, alright?”  
  
“There has got to be a sexier way to say that,” Daichi commented. Koushi shrugged and released his grip on one of Daichi’s thighs to grab his cock and line it up.  
  
He pressed in slowly, giving Daichi time to adjust as he went. Daichi threw his head back and groaned, clenching and unclenching around Koushi’s length.  
  
“Shit,” Koushi hissed, trying desperately not to cum.  
  
“Koushi,” Daichi gasped. “Koushi, Koushi fuck me.” Koushi complied, pulling out as far as he could with the close angle and thrusting slowly back in. Daichi moaned, loud and long.  
  
“Shit, Dai, you can’t do that,” Koushi whined.   
  
“Can’t help it,” Daichi panted. “Fuck, you feel so good, Koushi.” Koushi groaned, snapping his hips forward. It was all he could do to make this last, to make it good for himself and for Daichi.  
  
Fumbling for a better grip, Koushi moved one hand to brace at Daichi’s lower back. The other, he brought to fist Daichi’s cock, stroking it in time with his own thrusts.   
  
“Fuck, Daichi,” he groaned. “Daichi, ‘m close, _fuck_ -”  
  
“Koushi,” Daichi moaned. Koushi glanced up at his face and could have burst into tears.  
  
Daichi was watching him with such a blissful expression that it made Koushi’s chest hurt. His eyebrows were pinched together and his mouth was hanging open, his eyes cloudy with pleasure but warm with affection. Koush’s hips bucked erratically and he gripped Daichi’s cock tighter, determined to bring him over the edge.  
  
“Daichi,” he whispered, voice thick. “Daichi. I love you, _Daichi_ -”  
  
With one final snap of his hips, he was cumming, buried to the root in Daichi, arms full of Daichi, head spinning with Daichi, Daichi, _Daichi_.   
  
His best friend. The boy he’d fallen in love with as a teenager, the man he’d yearned for for years. The man who was moaning his name as he came over Koushi’s hand and his own stomach. Daichi.  
  
Koushi’s legs went weak with the force of his orgasm and the emotions it brought with it. He strained, tightening his hold on Daichi as he lowered them both as gently as he could until they were sitting in a pile on the floor. He slipped out of him in the process, both wincing at the feeling. For a moment, they both sat, panting and not sure what to do with themselves. Then Koushi met Daichi’s eyes and he snorted.  
  
Laughter filled the air, warm and bright and feeling like summer and warmth and home and something new now. Koushi dropped his forehead onto Daichi’s shoulder, clinging to him in a pitiful attempt to regain control. Daichi shook as he held Koushi closer, the sound of his voice ringing right in Koushi’s ear.  
  
“I can’t believe you just did that,” Daichi wheezed. Koushi tried to find the wherewithal to punch him, but all he could do was slap weakly at his shoulder.  
  
“It’s your cousin’s fault,” he gasped. “Tell me I can’t fuck my man against a wall. She’s got another thing coming.”  
  
“Oh my god, if she knew-” Daichi’s sentence broke into another bout of laughter, loud and long.  
  
“Speaking of, why the hell did Mitsuko of all people give you lube?” Koushi asked. Daichi’s laughter died down immediately.  
  
“She, um. She might have guessed that this would happen?” he said.  
  
“Might have?” Koushi teased.  
  
“Um. Yeah. And I might owe her five hundred yen now, because she bet me I’d need it within a month?” Koushi leaned back to stare at Daichi before he burst out laughing again.  
  
“It’s okay,” he gasped. “I told Oikawa I didn’t know what to do about all this, and he told me to suck your dick.”  
  
“Sound advice,” Daichi said. “You know, you didn’t really do that. You just kinda teased me for a bit.” Koushi narrowed his eyes.  
  
“I’m sorry, are you dissatisfied with the way I just fucked you within an inch of your life?” he asked. Daichi snorted.  
  
“Not a bit,” he said. “I’m just saying, you should keep that idea. For later use.” Koushi hummed.  
  
“Maybe,” he said. “If you’re good.”  
  
“For how long?” Daichi asked. Koushi grinned at him.  
  
“Well, we’ve got the rest of our lives to find out.” Daichi smiled and pulled Koushi even closer, leaning their foreheads together.  
  
“I’m looking forward to it,” he said.  
  
-  
  
The next morning, Koushi woke to Daichi’s hand on his face and Daichi’s foot pressed against his bladder and the scent of Daichi’s shampoo coating his pillow. He allowed himself one blissful sigh, one he didn’t have to pass off as anything, and rolled over, burrowing his face into Daichi’s chest.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](http://notsuchasecret.tumblr.com)


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